Workin On My Fitness

I walked again this evening. Yes, I realize I must get my butt in gear and do this every day, or at the very least 3 times per week to start off. But anyway, almost 300 calories burned, which is my goal with each workout.

Go Me.

Party Time!

I may drop in on a Passion Party this weekend. There’s a group of Navy Wives on Myspace in the area that get together and one of them is hosting a party. I have always wanted to go to one of these as I’m a little bit of a freak. Yes, I know you all wanted to know that. lol

I feel a little strange going to someone’s home that I have never met. But it should be ok, right? Strangers are just friends we’ve yet to meet. I need girlfriends. It’s been so long since I’ve interacted with women in person. Online is great and all – but definitely not the same!

Things I Shouldn’t Know …

Sonic’s Banana Pudding Shake is beyond heavenly. OMG. The hubby had one the other day and I just about died with one sip of that goodness. Bad, bad – this is why I have a big booty. I know.

Reality?

Victoria Beckham will be starring in her own reality show about her family’s move to Los Angeles. Of course I’ll be curious enough to watch. I’m a loser like that. lol But I don’t think I would call this reality. Come on. All of these celebrity shows are so .. eh. But I guess that is their reality and shopping for a mansion and loads of new material possessions has to be oh so stressful.

The Wonder Pets

Do they have this on DVD?! I really wish I could find them all neatly organized by season. I can download a few on iTunes, but it’s not the same as being able to pop a dvd in and save my sanity once a day!! Both kids seem to really love every episode that Nick Jr plays. Now I find it a little annoying at times, but hey, it keeps them quiet. I’m definitely not one of those parents that bans television. I need at least an hour of it a day to keep them occupied or else I would get nothing done. Ok, so that is probably hard to believe as I blog a lot. But I’m a really fast typer and I blog in notepad quite often when they are in bed for the night and publish later on.

Just keep swimming!

Sometimes I feel as if I’m getting in over my head in every aspect of life. Though my wonderful husband goes to work everyday and brings home the money, I’m the one who is left in charge of everything else it seems. Ok, so he cleans the cat box and takes the trash out too. As well as other crappy chores. But I would take those any day over feeling as if I am responsible for the ultimate success of failure of the finances. I really hate this job. ugh. I’m also really irritated that in order to balance the checkbook I have to stay up until midnight, and make errors from being overly tired. OR do it when the kids are around and make even more errors because no one can just chill until I am done. ARGH. You would think sippy cups and snacks were a form of life support. That is ALL I have done all morning long.

My husband is a saint!

Well, maybe not 100%, but lately he comes close to it. As I mentioned, last night I kept him up with my ranting until around 3am. He gets up at 4:30am. In between all of the grump from me, he maybe got one or two hours of sleep. But he wasn’t angry with me. He instead loved me, went to work, and then came home exhausted with concern for ME and why I was so bitchy. Wow. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I think I’ll keep him. He has been an angel dealing with me as of late, and believe me, it’s not an easy task.

Therapy

I am thinking of looking for a counselor/therapist again. It’s just a matter of finding one that I like, that also accepts out insurance. Like I mentioned in another post, I’ve been having a rough time dealing with things. There’s no reason for it either. I just get upset and then I’m hell bent on making everyone hate me. I’m getting pretty tired of myself and the emotions all of the time, so I’m thinking it may help to talk to someone about it all. I’ve done it before, when we were having some really bad marital issues, but I didn’t feel like it helped me at all. Sure, she helped me find a great therapist for my husband, but me?? Eh. All we did was sit and talk about how I could go out, have free time, get hobbies. Ideas that absolutely will do nothing for me.

I may also make an appointment with my newest PCM to see what he says about maybe getting me on medication. I know this is sort of personal and I was going to mark this as a private post, but hey, it’s my personal blog. I hope to maybe get some encouragement from those who have been in this position. Is it possible to still suffer from PPD 18 months later or am I just run of the mill depressed? I have never wanted to medicate myself before, but I’m losing hope as to what will help. Obviously exercise, fresh air, and a positive attitude isn’t cutting it. Depression is depression is depression. I want to one day wake up and actually feel as if it might be a happy day ahead instead of feeling the rain cloud over my head as soon as I hop out of bed.

Ick

That yuck feeling that I have had all day still hasn’t went away. ugh. I was really hoping by this point it would have faded, but no. Of course not. The only really great thing I can say about today was that the kids were excellent. A little bit on the whine-tastic side by the time bedtime came around, but that is to be expected. Otherwise they were great, realized I wasn’t feeling well, and behaved accordingly. I actually drifted off here and there in the morning hours and instead of taking advantage of my drowsy state, they played quietly in the same room. WOW! Maybe I’m doing something right here after all??

Gymboree Deal!

Woot! As I wrote in this post on my shopping blog, I found a Gymboree discount code for 20% + free s&h. This was perfect as I had a couple of coupons that came in the mail, but they expired before I decided to use them. Bummer. But with this code I managed to get the kids some of their sale items, with an extra 20% off. I also bought matching outfits for photos, that will hopefully take place next month. Well that is if someone quickly invents a toddler paralyzing dart gun. I have no idea how I’ll get both of the little hellions to sit still for a photographer.

The matchy matchy clothes …

For Aubree

For Will

And now that I’m thinking about it, I should have bought the frilly socks to go with her outfit as well. Oh well.